Let’s be real here, no one actually has their life together. Even the people who seem like they do, I promise you, they don’t. Social media has distorted our perceptions and it’s natural to fall into the Instagram Effect and feel pressured to constantly play catch up.
Remember, social media is a highlight reel, not necessarily the reality! That pretty influencer with flawless skin who is always traveling? Those are filters and she’s probably in a lot of debt. The picture perfect, smiling couple that comes off as #RelationshipGoals? They’re still human and get into arguments!
Another factor that plays into feeling ‘behind’ on life is the archaic societal rule of having your life figured out at 18, going to school, and settling into a full-time job at 22. I’m here to remind you that life is not linear. In the 21st century you don’t need to go down that path—I sure as hell didn’t! I had a really non-traditional college career, finally finishing at 24 years old. And then, I went to school again and finally started my socially approved ‘professional’ career at 26. Now I’m 30, laid off, and building myself a new career in this chapter of my life.
We’re all just figuring life out day by day, but there are definitely ways to make the process easier. There’s no all encompassing secret to getting your life together, but I do use a five step method to keep on track. And today, I’m sharing those tips with you!
Be Brutally Honest With Yourself
Feeling stuck is a natural part of the process. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed! Accept those feelings and don’t feel bad because your feelings are valid. What makes it tougher is when we get anxious thinking we have to be doing things to progress, and fall into a negative pattern of the comparison game. Reminder: you only competition is yourself, yesterday. (That’s one of my six pillars to success!)
The first step to breaking down the overwhelmed, “OMG what am I doing with my life?!” is to be honest with yourself. Ask yourself the questions below and take time to be thoughtful answering them. Write down how you feel, get it all out!
- Are you living the life you want to live?
- Are you showing up as the best version of yourself?
- What is it you want to change in your life?
- What is it you really want to do?
- How you will take a step every day to get closer to that goal?
Write Out Your Goals
I always say this and probably sound like a broken record at this point, but write down your goals! Putting pen to paper helps manifest words into the universe. When writing your goals, ask what you’re passionate about and how you’ll pursue those passions. It’s important to also think about the steps you need to take. Do you need to take a course? Create content? Reach out to someone? Practice affirmations?
Your goals don’t have to be a grand life-changing gesture. No goal is too big or small. It could be mending a relationship with a parent, eating healthier, starting a passion project, or simply being kinder to yourself—and that’s amazing! Your goal is whatever will help bring a better sense of calm and security in your life.
Figure Out Your Goal Blockers
After you’ve written down your goals and the steps you need to take, it’s time to eliminate the goal blockers. What’s distracting you? What holds you back? What is making you feel stuck? Is it the comparison game, a negative way of thinking, or a toxic environment? Block out anything that’s no longer serving you or holding you back.
Of course, we can’t all just change our environments, but there are good habits we can develop to block out the noise and stay focused. It’s not easy at all, trust me, I know because I’ve been there myself. But I promise you, it’s not impossible.
If you’re currently stuck in a toxic home environment, let the negativity roll off you. Stay sooo focused on your personal goals that the toxicity can’t bring you down. Believe in yourself, because YOU matter and your dreams, wishes, and goals do too! Take time each day to take care of yourself. There’s already external pressure, so no need to beat yourself up more. Be kind to yourself and let the blockers fuel and motivate you. You won’t ever stop feeling overwhelmed if you don’t mindfully self-care it up first.
Accept Your Transitional Phase
If you’re reading this right now, it means you’ve survived all your bad days up until this moment. YOU DID THAT! Look how strong you are! Accept that this is just another transitional (and very natural!) phase in your life. This could be the defining chapter, if you let it.
Change your perspective and replace “I can’t” with “I will” when speaking. And instead of letting your story set circumstances, let your story be your power! I could easily go around saying. “I’m a minority woman and that makes things really hard for me when searching for a job.” Or I can change that and say, “I GET TO BE a badass minority woman and any job would be lucky to have me!” See the difference? 🙂
That’s actually a secret I learned in a marketing course I’m taking from our guest speaker Nick Pags. He’s really motivational, I highly recommend following him!
Take That First Step
You’ve been honest with yourself, you’ve defined your goals, you’ve made a pledge to block out the negativity, and you’ve accepted the process. Now it’s time to take that first step! Only you know what that step is, but I’m so confident you’re ready for it! I hope you take what you learned from this post and it helps bring a strong sense of security in your life. And remember, it’s totallyyy okay to go at your own pace. 🙂