Independent Girl Woes

Hello lovelies… So in the last week I graduated (YAY!) and sadly had to say bye to some close friends who left New York.  But I’ve also continued to receive an overwhelming amount of messages from many people who are inspiring me to write more about love!  I still can’t believe this has become such a prominent AzArAm feature!  I have so many requests and ideas I’m excited to continue sharing with you! 🙂  I’ve scattered pictures from this week’s look throughout the post… you can shop all the pieces through my Instagram by registering your email with ShopStyle and liking my photo.

I’m dedicating this week’s post to a specific group of girls… my independent ladies.

The independent girl is neither the too nice doormat nor the overly aggressive b*tch. She falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.  She probably carries a lot of pain with her, but you would never know it because she’s made a choice to channel that hurt into improving her life.  She accepts that she is far from perfect, but never holds unrealistic expectations for her S.O. to be either.  Like the doormat, she’s loving and caring, but won’t let herself be taken advantage of.  Like the b*tch she’s tough, willing to stand for what she wants, but never in demeaning way.  (No low blows or hurting your ego!)

This girl sounds pretty perfect, right? So please RIDDLE ME THIS… Why is this girl getting hurt the most?

I’m going to focus on my friend Madison.* She recently got out of a super sucky relationship, where the guy never appreciated her and took advantage of her.

I can easily go on about how insecure this guy is, but I want to focus on Madison instead.  She is so vibrant and beautiful inside and out.  Besides her obvious beauty and good heart, she is one of THE smartest, intelligent women I have ever met!  In my book, Madison is a total 10.  She is the total package (personality, brains, looks, ambition) and it KILLS me that girls like her are the ones getting hurt.

“How could I not see it?” she kept thinking out loud.

Let’s be clear, dating SUCKS in 2016, and to meet a seemingly genuine guy organically makes any girl get tunnel vision and refuse to accept any red flags.

But it still doesn’t answer the question why it’s the independent girl who gets hurt the most. The doormat is clingy and delusional, the b*tch is usually the girl who guilts a guy to stay with her.

But the independent girl is the one who is willing to let things unfold naturally.  She won’t force you or guilt you because she knows her worth.  And that’s exactly why she gets hurt the most- because she KNOWS her value.

So Madison, and all the other #LadyBosses reading this… just because some guy can’t appreciate your ambition, hard work, and fierce independence, does not mean you should value yourself any less.  Trust me, he sees it. He may even admire it.  But he can’t handle it, and that insecurity is a reflection on him, not you.

And there’s an upside to this… in a way, these heartbreaks are just turning you into a stronger and more resilient #LadyBoss.  When the time is right, a guy will come into your life and he will appreciate and accept your ambition and independence.  Until next time…

XoXo,

*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

PHOTOS C/O Amelia Edwards