I’m frequently asked why I don’t go places, do things, or even see people. Mostly out of curiosity since (once you get passed my perpetual angry face) I am generally a friendly person. Well my lovely readers, gather here, and let me break down my gospel for you:
Unless I’m in a place that will benefit my glow up, I would rather be alone than be surrounded by empty conversation. They say if you want to be successful, you have to be willing to disappear for awhile. Well I want to be successful, and if that means I have to be selfish and focus on myself, then I’m going to do that.
It’s easy to fall victim to FOMO and want to be “seen”—whatever that means! But no one should sell themselves short just to be anywhere with anyone. You know what that’s called? S E T T L I N G. And we all know how much I don’t like the S-word! Only dead fish go with the flow.
I’ve accepted one too many invites to events, dinners, parties, and outings that I’ve regretted. Now I’m not saying I won’t go to a brunch with my friends—that’s one of my favorite activities! But again, I’m very selective with the friends I break bread with. I like to surround myself with people who I can learn from, who inspire me, and who motivate me. If I’m hanging around someone, it’s because he or she is inspiring me in some way. But selfish is only acceptable when it comes to YOUR time . . .
I’m very lucky that all the girls I roll with are straight up BOSSES. They all have side hustles, passion, and goals. We might not all see each other so often, but it’s because we’re focused on leveling up, and when we DO see each other, it’s a continuous give and take of support and motivation.
Although we are selfish with our personal time, we share opportunities with each other. I think that is the BEST and most valuable type of friendship. When a friend is offered an opportunity (an event, a collaboration, a meeting, etc.) and passes it along to you too. Like, wow, you were presented with an opportunity and thought of me and how it might benefit me too?! #FriendshipGoals!!! And it’s not always the people you are closest to! Your best friend can go his or her whole life without once offering to pass along anything they come across that might help YOU. Pay attention to those people. They don’t care to see you succeed. But more importantly, pay attention to the people who hit you up because they want to tell you about or invite you to something that helps you and your brand.
Imagine being so genuinely happy with your life, that you don’t have competitive insecurities and understand there is room for everyone to win.
And we should ALL be striving to win. Don’t be a dead fish. Be a shark. Break out of your comfort zone and stop settling. Stop pretending to be something you’re not. Stop going to places where you are trying to fit in just because you don’t want to be home alone. Learn to be comfortable with being home alone and working on your character instead. If you don’t like your meal at a restaurant, send it back and order what you DO like. Be selfish and selective and then see how much happier you are. Just a little something I’ve learned from recent experience. 😉
When is a time when you were selfish and benefited from it? Let me know in the comments! And don’t forget to shop my look below!
Photos C/O Tiffany Chen.